Zalmen's Bar Mitzvah Date

Choosing a Day for This Momentous Occasion

When  we chose Zalmen's Bar Mitzvah date, way back in the fourth grade, it would never have occurred to us to have his Bar Mitzvah on his actual Jewish birthday. Presuming that many friends would be away on summer vacation, we chose a day in September, when we would be able to gather in the fullness of friends, family and community. In the last three and a half years, we had gradually become attached to the September 5, 2020 date and to Parshat Ki Tavo. The choice to abandon that date and parsha did not come easily. But waiting until September to be together with many people no longer made sense, and even our experience of Shabbat as an ideal time to gather in community has shifted. So, while we hold out hope that we will be able to gather the community we had in mind to celebrate in fullness and complete joy, we chose to mark Zalmen's arrival at the age of Mitzvot right on time, on his 13th birthday by the count of the Jewish calendar. 

זֶה הַיּוֹם עָשָׂה יְהוָה נָגִילָה וְנִשְׂמְחָה בוֹ (תהילים קיח: כד)

This is the day that God has made. Let us be glad and rejoice in it. (Psalms 118:24)

The 17th of Tamuz

Zalmen was born, and will become a Bar Mitzvah on the 17th of Tamuz, a minor fast day on the Jewish calendar. While this is not the most intuitive day for a celebration, it is Zalmen's first opportunity to rise and be counted as a member of the community, and presents opportunities for learning and taking on adult choices in his own Jewish practice. 

The fast of the seventeenth of Tamuz commemorates, among other tragedies, the breach of the walls of Jerusalem by the Romans in the siege that led to the destruction of the second Temple. It begins the three weeks leading up to the 9th of Av when the Temple itself was destroyed. 

The fast traditionally begins at dawn and lasts until nightfall. In addition to fasting, there are several additions to the traditional liturgy for this day. Zalmen will lead several prayers added to the morning and afternoon services for fast days. In his Torah reading, he will shift between the usual trope and the trope system used for the high holy days. And at mincha, the afternoon service (1:30pm), Zalmen will read the fast-day haftarah.

The fast of the 17th of Tamuz is one of the less-discussed moments of the Jewish year and there are several approaches to its observance. Some in our community observe the day traditionally with a dawn-to-nightfall fast. Others choose not to observe the minor fast days in our times. In the Temple Israel of Natick community, there is a tradition to abbreviate the 9th of Av fast at mincha, in recognition that the exile that began with the destruction of the second Temple was partially ended by the establishment of the state of Israel in 1948. Some may choose to observe the 17th of Tamuz in the same way, with the same understanding of redemption partially fulfilled. 

Yet another approach to fast days in our times is to choose a fast of tzedakah. Fast days, in Jewish tradition are not just about mourning, but bring an opportunity for teshuvah, rethinking, return, and repair. Some choose to observe the minor fast days with a practice of contemplation of where our lives and our world are in need of repair and devoting some attention and resources to that work. 

As part of his preparation for his Bar Mitzvah, Zalmen is learning about the fast day and coming to a personal approach to its observance. However you acknowledge the day, we look forward to grappling with it in community with you, embracing the full range of emotions and the opportunity for growth that a fast-day Bar Mitzvah brings.